And by rum I mean chocolate, and by chocolate I mean the box of chocolate cookies I bought yesterday. I only had a couple of them. But I don't need to ask where they be, for I be knowing it - that scallywag of a brother has noshed them all! So I'm having a strawberry-peach smoothie instead. Not quite the same, but apparently toads don't like peach keifer and frozen strawberries as much as Healthy Chips Double Chocolate Cookies.
This was a bad day for someone else to eat the only chocolate source in the house. This forward I got from a friend is very explanatory, I think:
>Subject: Hormone Hostage
>The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a
>man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!
>This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the >wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!
>DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
>SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
>SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
>ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
>SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
>SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
>ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
>SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
>SAFEST: Here's fifty dollars.
>ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
>SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
>SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
>ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.
>DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
>SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
>SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
>ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.
Yeah, so here I am wallowing in self pity. Disgusting. I'm just SO sick of not having a car. I mean, I like riding my bike, really I do. But there are just some times where a car is so useful. Today was one of those examples:
A bunch of my friends were going up to Iowa City to celebrate Josh's birthday. Due to various communication problems I didn't realize I had a ride until lunchtime, which was too bad, because I hadn't put in my hours at work yet, and everyone was leaving pretty soon... and it must have been the day of sucky communication, because I couldn't get a hold of my mom(boss) or my boyfriend to see if they were ok with me dropping everything to grab the ride and be gone for the afternoon and evening. and by the time I found out that it WOULD have been ok, everyone had left. But there still would have been time to meet them for dinner - IF I HAD A CAR! And telling myself that not going is better for both my poor shinsplints and my wallet, and that at least I got Josh a present isn't really making me feel any better right now, and I'm not sure if chocolate would make the situation better or send me into a guilt trip...
I really freakin hate this. I mean, rides and schedules and such can be worked out if you have enough time to plan...... but it takes a lot more energy and staying on top of things.... and it's only going to get colder the next few months. Something must be done. Money is needed, and a lot of it. I know that taking away my car privileges was to "kick me out of the nest" and inspire me to earn my own car, but so far I've been just as depressed about not having a life where I can support myself, and now I'm resentful on top of it. Which doesn't really inspire me to go in for more hours. I'm too dependent on my mother (job, room, food, car, phone, internet, laundry), and I know it, and I hate it, because it makes me grouchy at her, and turns her into an enemy instead of an ally. And I don't want to get to the point where I'm so pissed I HAVE to move out. But unless I start making more money, I won't be able to afford moving, and it's just this whole vicious cycle, which I think could be broken by having someone other than my mother as a boss. So I reallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreallyreally hope this Art Walk thing works out, because it's already stuff I'm doing, and know how to do, and I'm good at. And even though it might be the same level of boring sometimes, it'd be about art instead of furniture, and I'd be accountable to someone else, so I'd actually go. It's only part time, so I'd still have to work at WDC, but it would be different somehow, knowing it wasn't my sole source of income... But 2 part time jobs would be much better than one, and the pay from the Artlife Society is WAY better than any of the food service stuff I've been trying to supplement with. I really feel good about this, and I'll be SO sad if I don't get it...
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