Not my favorite thing. Being a Capricorn and a Kapha - earthy, grounded, slow-going - shifting gears is hard for me. I like to have advance warning before something new is going to happen or something current is going to end.
I guess I'm getting a bit of that advance notice I just said I like, but it's been unsettling to know that changes are coming up, especially since it has the potential to effect much of my daily experience, and some of them I really didn't see coming. damn.
But I'm wondering if it has anything to do with my late nights the past few evenings. When things seem out of my control do I try to grab control of the few things I can? Like bedtime and cleaning and food? Stupid. Argh. I was really liking being more rested. It's kind of amazing. I like getting more organized. What am I proving to anyone by "rebelling"? yuck.
I just wrote this email last night to my friends and posted it in my travel blog, but it was making me ponder - why is it that it's only for special occasions that I'm able to maintain the lifestyle/behavior that is more fulfilling? Shouldn't it be the everyday norm, and these crazy, stay up late and do what I want days be the vacations? It's been so nice outside the past few days, I've thought about taking a walk after work, but it's like I can't wait to get home and plug in again, barely even taking time to make dinner. It makes me a little scared of what I might be avoiding...
3 comments:
Change can be awful tough, especially when it's disruptive to stuff you've grown to count on and rather liked. Life can be pretty habit-forming, and habits don't drop easily.
Yeah habits suck to try and change or drop. It's scarier/harder when it's people, because there's no control over that... and you want them to be happy. (none of this is about G by the way, and I can probably say more once it happens)
Yeah, I was going to say that it's way harder when it's external change, and also that I thought it was something you weren't really able to talk about yet.
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