I AM lame........

yeah. so I asked him if he erased his blog because I found it, and he said yes........
I'm all confused. I thought the point of online things was that other people can read them? I guess there are such things as private groups, and only people who are invited can read the stuff......... so I guess it was like a private group of him and his friends, and I was not invited. So yeah. I messed up. I crashed a party. I'm sorry. I try to justify it by the fact that it WAS online, and he didn't do that good of a job covering his tracks. I mean, when you do stuff on a family computer, you've got to be really good at erasing things you don't want other people to see/find. I guess if I left a journal out I wouldn't want anyone to read it... but in my case I always hid my journals. I never left them anywhere in plain view. But I guess as the cyber generation this is the new thing. And unless you are given a link to a site, it is considered hidden?

He said he made a new one. I won't look. I'm sorry. He says he doesn't read mine, I said he could, but I guess he doesn't want to. I hope some day I'm cool enough to get to participate in his life somehow, because he's this cool real person now...... I guess I don't know how to be a sister/friend..... I've always been the older sister - in charge, the boss, bossy. Both my brothers have been so much younger than me, but in different ways. And now when they are catching up, I guess I'm too old...... I'm younger than his teacher! Who he and all his friends seem to adore and want to hang out with all the time. I must not count, since I'm a sister. Family is funny........ these people who you share so much of your life with, so many common experiences, people who should be on your team. Yet there can be so much distance between you and them. I guess not any more than with the next person, but it seems more obvious, since you lived with them their whole life, and you DO know so many things about each other. I'm so confused. I don't know how to make things right. I guess we need to talk more, but he's probably really mad at me....... whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

Improv was good though, we watched our tape. Celeste came for the beginning, and Paul showed up for about an hour. We have so much good raw stuff! and I think the show went well, just a bit long and a lot of people left at the break. I think having director type people will help us shape it into something cleaner, something that gets our ideas and our brilliance across more directly, because so many cool things were happening! It just sucks that little things like staging and volume were making it harder for the audience to get it. But those can be easily fixed.

Lucia had a garage sale today... I went through some of my boxes of old toys and stuff in the attic to see if I had anything to contribute. ( which reminds me, I still need to go put away those half sorted through ones ) Yipes, the memories. I'm such a saver. And the thing is, so much of that stuff still has an emotional charge when I pick it up. And I'm getting to the age where those kids I was saving the stuff for aren't too many years away... scary. Gilberto said I should take any of the things I didn't sell with us to Colombia in February, because he has relatives who would probably love to have them. I have a feeling the trip is going to be very hard for me, seeing the poverty in some places. We have so much here that we just throw away, or take for granted. And there are people in the world who could really use that extra stuff. And some how the two don't connect. :(
Anyway, I didn't sell any of it. Serious garage sale shoppers strike early. Lu made about $40 before I got there. It's so funny to watch a potential person come up. The things they pick up to look at. The hand going to the pocket or fanny pack for change. The way they put things back, pick them up again. It's just great, watching the whole process in their face. and you just never know what it's going to be that they like. But I had fun hanging out with Lucia and egging her on to do her workshop for kids. I dunno, I like to help organize things, and I think she actually wants to do it, so if she could make a bit of money before going to London, and I can help her do that, then cool!