You say it's...

(from a letter to my girls)

I was reading a really nice article in Yoga Journal (which is a great magazine, you should get a copy!) about how we need to be more aware in our eating, and be careful, because substituting carrot sticks for cookies isn't *really* solving the problem of using food for comfort sort of thing. It's a really nice article, I was trying to figure out how to scan it in for you guys and having miserable luck at it... so uh, yeah. But that was the gist of it...

And I was REALLY noticing the food for comfort thing this morning at work. I was doing a particularly boring and frustrating project, so not only was I bored, I was angry that I had to do it, and that I didn't have more direction/support in how to finish it. I DID quickly finish off the carefully portioned mini-rice cakes that I had meant for my afternoon snack and then sat there steaming at now the project AND myself for being so plugged into my habit. And I could feel my stomach churning, and the tears behind my eyes as I felt into how much I FEEL (emotions) in my stomach, and use food to try and dull them out. Besides just the immediate pleasure of taste to try to counteract the "negative" emotions. Pretty amazing. And not fair that I don't have the option to go like, lie down or cry or something at work until it passes. suck. what a struggle.

Anyway, I started off my birthday celebrating tonight at the Open Mic. Played 3 orginal songs (although no new ones, haven't had much inspiration lately), brought a nice organic lemon cake (from a mix), and some people who don't usually come came, although the dude saved me for last, so pretty much the only people left were my friends and fam by the time I played, but that's ok. :)

Tomorrow I'll have dinner at Entree, and go to the opening night of a local play starring Jennie Mescon. First show by Fairfield's new professional touring theatre troupe who are going to be the cornerstone of the civic center when it goes up. yay.

Some sort of family thing mixed in somewhere on the weekend. And finally a Sunday brunch at Cafe Paradiso. I didn't really have the energy to organize one party, so I threw out a bunch of options and hoped people would show up to at least one of them! :) Feeling sort of old and lame-o and depressed this year. Sigh. 27 is like really the late 20's now, and closer to 30, and all those mystery deadlines I didn't even know I had until they go by sort of things are hovering. Nothing specific, cuz I'm not letting myself even think about it yet. Sigh.

Well, time for beddy-bye, it's late... Hey! It's my birthday! :O