Random

This is the day to day me. This is the doubts, the confusion and complaining. This is where I don't care, where I don't censor or try. (at least not as much and not as hard)

I have all sorts of parts and pieces. I try to stay positive, but sometimes it's hard. Sometimes the frustrations need to get out somewhere.

Sometimes I just think it's all hormonal.

But I never want to invalidate the feelings. It's just the hormones make it harder to hold back what's already there.

Status update: Heather is wishing I could be less of a sponge and more of a paintbrush. Oooh! Sponge painting! Maybe?

Soaking soaking soaking up information. To what purpose? Just to get soggy and damp and lethargic and bloated? BLECH! Painting is harder than absorbing. dammit.

Floating in limbo land.

Struggling to find the right balance of structured and free time. Structure is so much easier for me when someone else imposes it. Or at least part of it.

I do get things done. Majorly updated my interview archives today. Took 4 hours. But all these other shoulds, hovering. They don't let me enjoy or celebrate the accomplishments I DO achieve. DAMMIT!

I seem to have a least a little something each day. One thing. One person. That helps. Often I try to "work" out in cafes and coffee shops, just to get out of the house, to see some humans.

I see the same people in the coffee shops. Even though I rotate coffee shops. Are we on the same schedule? Are the other shops empty, or is there a whole set of latte drinking laptop-ers I don't even know about?

I want a nice logo and design for my music blog, but I'm not sure I can afford it. Don't care enough to learn how to do it myself. There must be a happy medium somewhere? Just tweaking a template enough that it's not obviously a template, without having to overhaul everything?

Haven't gotten started on Christmas ANYTHING. This is freaking me out. Frustrating.

Highly lacking in motivation and inspiration! PISSER! I have lots of time, more than I have had in a while, and just frittering it away? But I don't really even care all that much? UGH. GROSS. LAME.