Happy

It's been happening to me more and more these days.  I'll be in the middle of whatever crazy thing I may be doing, and I'll stop, and smile inside and say to myself, "I'm happy."

I don't know what it is exactly.  Maybe my stars have changed.  Maybe I'm doing more things that feel "productive" and that makes me feel better about myself in general.  Maybe it's spring and the green and the birds and the blossom scented air.  Maybe I've been a tad more physically active.  Maybe some of those Peruvian healing rites are working.  Maybe keeping the goals blog is helping, even if I don't manage to get all of them done, it's more than I would have done without them.

I still feel a bit like I'm on a roller coaster.  Can't see around all the bends and I know there will be some more ups and downs.  I wish a few more things were solid so I didn't have to wonder, and there are still plenty of "shoulds" that frustrate me, plenty of inertia I'm battling.  I still get cranky and tired and keep myself up too late and don't eat enough of the right things.  But so many of the things I'm doing feel good, feel natural and right.  Even when I'd expect them to make me feel nervous, frazzled or stressed, they don't.  

I'm happy.