Back. Or something.

I'm back from my trip to Colorado. Which was amazing. Lots of learning, breakthroughs, connections, heart openings, transformations etc, etc. I'm having a hard time adjusting to being back home though. The contrast from being in a community of like-minded people in full on CREATIVE mode for a week is pretty drastic.

Not to mention the to-dos in a bunch of areas and the disaster of the house is weighing pretty heavy on my mind and shoulders. G helped me clean the kitchen last night. At least ONE room in the house is clean.

I'm still wearing my stupid plastic wristbands from the trip. I kept my Song School one on during Folks Fest to show off a little, I admit. I wasn't the only one though, and it was a nice way to confirm that yes, we'd just been part of the few who had been a part of those few amazing days. I took a picture of them today, maybe I'll end up taking them off for tomorrow when I have to cook... They are a nice little anchor, reminding me of that good time. Conversation starter too, people ask what they're for, if I was at the Fair or Fun City or something and then I get to tell them where I got them.

I know I can't stay on vacations forever. But the contrast between vacation me and most-of-the-time me is so drastic sometimes that I can't help but think I must be doing something wrong most of the time. I remember that ear-to-ear grin stretching across my face for most of the week and compare it to the tightness in my jaw right now and my heart aches.

Do I just need less stuff?? Is it the stuff that weighs me down? When I just have a room or a tent and a few essentials, it sure is a lot less to think about and take care of. I don't think that's all of it, but I bet it wouldn't hurt to get rid of things...

I know also that if I did somehow stay on vacation forever it would cease to be vacation and turn into most-of-the-time and take on it's own problems. So yeah, it's about finding some sort of balance. I need to be a little patient with myself and let me just get back and catch up on things a bit and then worry about how to integrate the new things I learned with my life from before into a new version of my life.

I do know that it's wrong to compartmentalize my life and only let this part that came out to be out for one week in August. Gotta find a balance point.

Because while it was amazing, I also know that if I'd stayed much longer, I probably would have reached a burnout point there too. The dryness of the desert mountains, the so many people, the constant incoming stream of information, spending lots of money on food, etc.

So yeah. Balance. Swinging from one side of the pendulum to the other. Waiting for that mid point...