Oh yeah

I forgot to write about the Valentine's Day party we went to. It was a good experience in many ways.

First of all, it was a party! The friend who threw it usually has a xmas party but he was out of town this year so he had a Valentine's one instead. :-) It was fun to see people we hadn't seen in a while.

But what I really want to write about because it was more interesting to me, was how I handled it. It was a potluck, which is usually hard because there are so many tasty things. I filled my plate half with salad and had a taste of just about everything else. I ate it, put the plate down and just sat there (as opposed to going for seconds) and when someone asked if they could take my plate, I only had a split second of hesitation before saying yes (as opposed to hanging on to the plate to go for seconds).

I had several moments where I found myself feeling a little uncomfortable, embarrassed, shy or awkward (which is normal for me at just about any party). I didn't go up to the table and grab stuff to munch on or drink just so I would have something to do. I didn't go for my phone or ipod either. I just sat with it, observed myself and the people at the party, and after a while I would either get interested in a conversation going on or someone would start talking to me.

There was a cake at the end. I had my piece, and took a brownie. The cake was great, but after a bite of the brownie, I decided it wasn't OMG amazing, so I handed it over to G (normally I would have eaten the whole thing anyway).

There was a gift exchange game, the one where it's a big pile of generic gifts and people draw numbers and then steal from each other or pick from the pile till all the presents are gone. It being Valentine's day, there was a lot of chocolate to go around. I ended up opening a beautiful pair of handmade earrings, which I very much hoped I could keep because I didn't need a big box of chocolate talking to me for days after the party, and I didn't want another teddy bear or toy cluttering up the house. There was one lady who came to see if she wanted to steal them but said they weren't her style. So they are mine! I was grateful to get the perfect thing for me, and happy that the gift I brought was popular enough to get passed around. Just a little trinket, but I included $10 cash in with it, so that may have been the reason! :D

I decided to not even try to add up all the calories from the party but just write it off as 1000 collectively, which was fairly close in number to the party I went to in January. On the way home, I realized that I was actually a little bit hungry! (as opposed to being so stuffed I couldn't possibly eat anything for dinner). The next day I had even lost a little weight!

So, a great success and a good example for me to remember. I had fun, I didn't deny myself any of the things I wanted or stress about it but I was very mindful and aware of my choices. I enjoyed what I ate because I was conscious of what it was and savored it. Any of the uncomfortable moments were just that - moments. Nothing to freak out about. And rather than feeling depressed, stuffed, frustrated or drained after when I came home, I felt happy, content, proud, fulfilled and satisfied. Hooray!

Two things I haven't done in a while...

1. Wear my ring on the proper finger

2. Make a Valentine card.

Re 1: It's not 100% comfortable yet, but month ago it would have been a struggle to get on, and I would have started panicking to get it off immediately after, which would include stuff like running my hand under cold water and using soap. Tonight I can get it on and off easily, and had it on for at least an hour without it bothering me at all. PROGRESS!!!

Re 2: It's not as detailed or intricate as cards I have done before, and yeah, probably any kid could have done just about the same, but the point being I was motivated, and I made it with my own two hands. Not sure how long it's been since I made a Valentine card...

I think the pendulum swung from overdoing on making cards during my school years, (as in, making cards for absolutely everyone I knew in an attempt to make the cards that I gave to my crushes just seem like "one of the crowd" and nothing particularly special. Yeah, I was a goof that way...) to not doing at all. Maybe next year I can reserve making cards for more of the people I care about without overdoing. Because it really IS fun. PROGRESS!!!

Happy Easter!

I am 29 years old and this is the first year that I can remember not having an Easter Basket. We stopped doing the eggs several years ago, but the last couple years my mom would make up little baskets with dried fruit and other mostly healthy treats in the plastic eggs and hide them around the first floor at Cromwell. The general rule was that at least from SOME angle, you would be able to see at least SOME part of the basket without having to uncover it or move anything, though I'm not sure that was always the case. If we found our other sibling's baskets we would NOT tell where we found them, but sit on the couch and smirk as we noshed on our bits of sweetened pineapple and papaya and jelly bellies (hey, I said MOSTLY healthy).

It's funny, for all that Holy Week here in Colombia is a big deal, you'd think maybe today would be the biggest deal of all. I don't know if it's because G's mom isn't feeling well, or if they really don't go to church on Easter Sunday, but today has been super low key. The plan HAD been to go to the beach, and to bring the Grandfather. I've heard the churches are all decked out, and I was kind of curious to see at least one. But while we have gone to a couple of masses in people's houses, I haven't been to a church the whole time I've been in Barranquilla this trip. So who knows. I've missed church the last couple years at home I think too, just didn't wake up in time, so I'm not that bummed about missing the service, more just wanted to see the decorations.

This is the third big holiday I've missed at home in two months - first was Valentine's Day, second was St. Patrick's. For Valentine's I did get an ENORMOUS bouquet, and taken out for a nice lunch, but it was kind of strange not being with my husband, and that was the day it really hit me HARD how much I missed him. I remembered it was St. Patrick's day just before I got dressed, so I wore my army green pants and a t-shirt that had some kelly green leaves in the design, and after dinner I tried to explain some of the traditions to my in-laws. When we finally got clear that yes, they actually TINT the beer itself green, not that people drink the beer that comes in green bottles, they grimaced a wee bit, and they also thought it rather horrible that you got pinched for not wearing green clothing. But hey, they have a tradition of throwing wet cornstarch at people during their big Carnaval parades, so to each their own. :-) (For the record, I think they also think the cornstarch thing is horrible, but at least they are used to the concept.)

Anyway, I think it's funny how holidays in one sense are just another day in the year, but in another they have so much history and emotion and expectation tied to them based on how you celebrated in the past. I didn't realize I was going to miss my Easter Basket this much, even if I AM 29.