cooooookies!

Dang, I went to Everybody's and forgot the ingredient I needed for the tarts. I have very nearly all the other two types of cookies I prepped last night baked off. One batch in the oven and one more after that. The problem with mass producing lots of little cookies is it takes a LOOOOONG time. Sigh. They are tasty though!

The Cafe did it! Opened today! They still have work to do finishing stuff up, but they had tables and chairs and the espresso machine working and I got there in time for the last scone. It's still kind of paint/lacquer fume-y in there, but that will go away soon I'm sure. It appears they opted out of having kitchen space. I guess I'll find out some things when I go in on Saturday to cook brunch. I just found out tonight they have a basement, which you access through a trap door in the floor in front of the stage, and that is where they have the refrigerators they had in their second room at the old place. Seriously????? It's a major bad set up for anyone cooking. Possibly much worse than before actually, when I'm thinking about it. In the old space, the cooking area was right next to the fridge and sink and stuff. Now there's the whole bar in-between. You'd likely have to walk through the coffee line to get to the fridge and sink now, or even go open the trap door to restock?!?!?! Good geesh. It's just not their priority I guess. I'm sure there are work-arounds, but it's going to take some figuring out. sigh.

Put up some posters for a musician's show. Went to OTM with L to see New Moon again. Realized I pretty much didn't want to see most of the first part of the movie. Frustrating and sad part of the story. Totally team Jacob at the moment. :D We pondered how they were going to pull off the other two books, as the story-line strays farther and farther from reality... Hoping they invest more in their CGI. Got home, let the dog I'm taking care of this week out and gave it dinner. (It eats baby carrots for dinner, how cute is that?!) Went and borrowed a mic stand so I can practice the song with something in front of my face cuz that's a whole different ball game.

They were reading The Littlest Angel on the radio tonight. I had read/heard it before, but long enough ago that I didn't really remember how it ended. Pretty beautiful. There are so many versions of the story - a young/poor person doesn't have anything to give as a gift to the Christ Child, but they give the best they have. They either realize their gift is shabby and try to sneak it in, or they suddenly see their gift next to all the glorious glitzy other presents and freak out in embarrassment. "What was I thinking, that I/my gift was worthy?! I'm so ashamed!" But then because their gift was given from the heart, God takes it and proclaims it worthy, and then suddenly the gift is elevated to pretty much being one of the best gifts of all, or is even transformed into something super fancy as a reward for being humble and honest. It gave me hope for the concert this weekend. Even if I'm not as shiny and loud as a lot of the other performers, I still have something to offer and it's worthy. Tomorrow is the run-through/rehearsal. Which means I have to do a good job. I'm not as nervous as I was a few days ago, but geesh. Pressure...

ugh

Up way too late. Stayed late at a friend's to watch a movie, got home to a confirmation that my interviewee IS calling in. Which is good, but I had slacked on writing the blog because I hadn't heard from her. So up late futzing around until I was able to get myself to do the blog. Sometimes are harder than others, probably a lot tonight because I was already freakin' tired before starting. Argh. But they are done! Phew.

Made one batch of cookies. Prepped two other types so for one all I have to do is drop on the sheets and bake, the other needs some mixing up, but everything is measured out. I have 2/3 of the ingredients prepped for little cranberry tarts too I think... I need to go back to Everybody's for a few other things anyway.

Happy Nutloaf (plus a lot of other food) Day!

I don't eat turkey, so calling it turkey day is kind of weird for me. Though I guess a bunch of other people DO eat turkey, so it's still a turkey day or something.

Had a nice big meal with the L family as we quite often do. B & R were back from Scotland and it was super nice to see them. Had a bit of a strange while where I felt like I was just sitting on the edge of the room and G was kind of napping next to me and it was all full of people talking and I wasn't part of any of it. But shortly after that I got up and moved a tray so I could sit next to B & A and then got to talk to them for a bit and felt more like I was part of things.

I made roasted veggies which went over really well. Seems funny to me because they are SO easy, just chop up the veggies and drizzle lots of olive oil, herbs, and some onions and garlic. But people liked 'em lots! I also made vegetarian stuffing that was barely touched since there was tons more, and some cranberry sauce that wasn't even opened since there was LOTS of that. Anyway, I like both those things so I'm sure they'll be eaten soon.

The other thing people liked that I brought were these little coconut cookies, that are also super easy to make - just sweetened flaked coconut, sugar, egg whites and chopped pistachios. I think that may have been the only dessert that was completely eaten! T didn't even get any because she was too full and by the time she wasn't, they were all gone! I made them last night because I wanted to offer something to G's soccer friends who were over and I figured I could bring the rest to Thanksgiving. :) Luckily I happened to have just the right amount of pistachios on hand to make them.

It was strange to see B & R and realize we really haven't been in touch much for the whole year and a 1/2 since we visited them and how much has happened since then! It's been nearly a year since I lost my job at AS and it's still such a big part of my story. Might be time to let it go? It WAS a rather life changing event though, and it's part of the explanation of how I got to where I am now. Interesting though, to really notice, that it was almost a year ago.

Right before Christmas, when we cleaned out the whole office, and it looked so sterile and bare. Granted, I stayed on to train people, but only for 1/2 days and only from home. I still have boxes full of crap that I brought home, sitting in my little home office, taking up space. I threw out a bunch of old notebooks last month as it was infinitely clear that I would no longer need them. Some of the stuff from the office was the little knick-knacks I'd collected over the 3 years working there, little things that brightened my day or helped me get through it. I really was pretty miserable at the end...

The worst part is when you have to sit there, when there's nothing to do. I mean, there's ALWAYS something to do I suppose, but you definitely don't have the freedom to say "ok, I've done enough for today, I'm going home." And then being so tired and drained that I couldn't do any of the things I wanted to. Such a waste.

G is heading to Dubai tomorrow, and Colombia directly after that. He'll be gone for 20 days! eeps! That's pretty long. Hopefully I'll be able to keep myself busy. It'll give me plenty of time to get used to the Prius. So strange not to need to use a key, just press a button and it's on, press a button to park it. Hard to TELL if it's on because it doesn't make any noise starting up!!

Anyhoo, I'm thankful for a year of transformation, growth and figuring out boundaries and desires, many adventures and getting to see lots of friends and make some new ones. Grateful to be building relationships with people in the music world and to recognize that it's a real and valid lifestyle, not something that's shameful or crazy. Thankful for the President Elect and all he seems to be doing already in preparation for taking office. (I read something the other day about how he's going to "green" the White House, loved that! Very thankful for my amazing and supportive G who has stood by and helped me up during all my crazy figuring out of things this year. I don't think it's quite over, but getting closer!

Slowly slowly

catching up on my music theory homework. It's very dry stuff that, for me, involves a LOT of counting on my fingers over and over again. At least so far everything CAN be counted on my fingers. It's the whole backwards and forwards alphabet starting from anywhere between A and G that has me spinning.

Have been wanting cookies for the past couple days, and finally gave in before getting down to the homework, but with them made I really had no excuses. Bummed there was no milk to go with them, but it's probably better as I still have a wee bit of congestion.

Had coffee and a scone at the new Paradiso branch in Everybody's today. Corrected one of my assignments from last week. Intervals. grrr. Was getting really mad because no matter how many times I checked and counted and looked on the virtual keyboard I kept getting a perfect 3rd. Except there aren't any perfect 3rds, just perfect 4ths and 5ths. It's called a major 3rd. doh!

Had to confess my utter lack of maths at work today when I was asked to total up my hours "real quick" and had to admit it would probably take me a long time and that the whole calculating hours things is one of my biggest weaknesses. sigh. Luckily the other hourly guy had a formula that we were able to pop in to the spreadsheet, drop down and it WAS real quick. woof.

Is my brain truly just not wired for this math and arithmetic stuff? It's always been hard for me, since grade school, and it hasn't really gotten any easier. I know the fundamentals of what I need to do to figure out the answers, but I can't snap calculate things. So I can always figure it out eventually, it just takes me waaay long.

But I was able to pick out a bit of the melody of "I'm Flying" from Peter Pan once I figured out it was build on ascending triads. Kind of shockingly simple, and effective - it flies up the keyboard just like the kids fly up in the air, with a couple little blips I had to rustle out by ear. So I might not have a head, but I have an ear. Or my ear is quicker than my head? And neither is great yet but neither is horrible horrible, just the ear is faster. This goes back to FEELING the guitar doesn't it?

hrm

Cookies went over well, I mean at least people bought them, and thank goodness I made a double batch plus the muffin things cuz there was not much left. Spent the first half of the show in the teeny tiny box office, could hear well but would have liked to see. Not as many people showed up as we would have hoped, still thought it was ok but apparently we really didn't make enough. Pretty bummed about that. Wonder what else was going on tonight? 75% of Fairfield's bands were THERE!

Was hoping for some sort of pat on the back for working my butt off with the whole tickets/concessions thing, but I guess they were bummed about the earnings and therefore not in a back patting mood, plus we had to scramble to get out cuz it had gone over time.

A bunch of the other DJ's got to go up and announce the acts, not like I would have been able to that AND the door, but at one point the plan was to do something where they had all the DJ's at least stand up or possibly get up on stage, but they didn't do that either. (probably because it was so late) So kind of feel like I did a ton of stuff and didn't even get a plug for my show, but whatever. It wasn't the point really, but somehow I'm left feeling disgruntled and bummed, when it should have been triumphant what was pulled off with the amount of time and resources we had.

G is off in KC to pick up something for work that they need by Mon, that wasn't even going to ship till Mon. So I am home alone and it's freezing and rainy and my head is cranking and my heart is sad and there's no one to talk to/unwind. It feels like after a performance and we would go out to eat at McDs or Torino's or something but even if people are off doing that, I didn't perform on stage, just behind the scenes, so it's not like they would think of me for that. Very disconnected and frustrating.

I'm pretty sure later there may be some sort of thank you for everything I did sort of sentiment expressed, but that doesn't help me sleep tonight. meh.

Do you ever have that thing...

...where you are making chocolate chip cookies for a bake sale and you've already agonized over whether or not to get the full on organic butter or just the GMO free stuff because it's cheaper and oh crap they're automatically going to have GMO's from the soy lecithin in the chocolate chips so who really cares if they're full on organic and the point is just to make some money anyways and you decide you are going to add some extra special things like cinnamon and coffee to make them different and amazing and wonderful because plain old chocolate chip cookies are boring and everyone else is probably going to bring them anyway and so you're pretty happy with yourself for being original and then it comes to the point where you actually portion out the spoonfuls on the cookie sheet and you start to panic because you don't know what size they are going come out and are they big enough, are they worth it, will people be happy or feel ripped off to pay 50 cents for them and omigod I thought a double batch was going to make more and what if this isn't enough and wow look at what a drastic difference there is between the ones on the baking stone and the ones on the baking sheet and maybe they just sort of taste weird, omigod did I just waste all those ingredients and wreck my bedtime and who's idea was it even anyway to HAVE a bake sale for this event, oh yeah MINE, or is that just me?

PS in other news I am much, much, much, much better with just a teensy bit of a cough left. HOOROAR!