Had an intense week, mostly brought on by my own head. A show to promote, stress that no one would come, trying to figure out how to make sure it was well covered without making people crazy/feeling spammed. Feeling like I didn't have much support. Like I would let the people down. Running around, posters, etc.
Show came. Decent crowd who loved it. People loved it, want to come back. So all good really. Always could have been more. Felt incredibly 'effing proud during the performance, awed that it was happening, I wanted it and worked it and there it was in front of me, always at least as good and sometimes better than I expected. Goosebumps so many times. GOOD STUFF. Amazing. Holy wowzers.
But the pinch. The confusion. At the end. Differing opinions. Between a rock and a hard place. dammit. Timer's up. More later maybe. Because it's bigger than just this, ties in to a bigger theme that has been tumbling in my mind for a while, and prominently for a few days/weeks.
People are coming tomorrow. I will need to finish cleaning house. It's a good start today but much more to do.
oh, and another head tumbling thing. A new friend who needs help, but I can't distinguish between drama and danger in her reality, and not sure if she can either. Don't want to get used, don't want to abandon someone who actually needs help. Help!
Sleep.
PS It snowed 4 inches, melted away in one day. The crocuses are still fine.
PPS Really, I'm OK. This is mostly little picture stuff, and the big picture stuff I'm not worried about because I know I'll be able to think it out/write it out/work on it soon.
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