grrr

Been having a couple of down/rough days. Not sure what that's about. Wrong time for PMS. Maybe just thoroughly tired myself out from staying up waaaay too late for the past couple of weeks.

It's been 2 months since I started with the diet and I'm feeling a bit worn down on it at the moment. Hungry actually. Which just started happening in the past couple of days too. My mom suggested that it may be some specific taste I'm missing out on as a result of calorie reduction and to try out those different tastes (Sweet, Sour, Salty, Bitter, Pungent, and Astringent) to see if one seems to satisfy. Will have to experiment with that a little more in the next few days.

The weight loss has slowed down too, (which is not unexpected really, it's always the most drastic when you first start) and I am realizing what a long haul this is going to be, and the thought of that tires me out at the moment. Along with realizing that I will probably at some point have to reduce calories even further. ugh. I know it will be worth it for so many reasons, and it's VERY encouraging to have gotten such a nice jump start, but just right now I'm worn down.

Music blog and radio show seem to be ramping up a bit. That is good. (though still trying to catch up on back shows, and starting to feel a bit more pressure to be more professional or something). Job is good. Spring is coming, VERY GOOD.

Sorta caught up on a few online music lessons, progress, but still not caught up and need to not fall FARTHER behind. argh.

But for now, I have to get up early for Dr check-in tomorrow. So I am going to bed. Semi sorta early for my past few weeks. blegh.

Be the change

So, at the risk of offending people who might have a different idea about me, and in order to tell about this realization I had today, I am going to share - I don't usually make the bed. Like, 19 times out of 20 probably. I don't really see the point. There are a lot of other things I want to be spending time on, and if we have people over, it's easy to just shut the door. I usually only make it when I need to fold clothes and I don't want them to get lost in the sheets.

I also don't usually go to bed at the same time as G. Night-owlism, procrastination, distraction, freaking out, working late, catching up, whathaveyou, it varies in phases from a little late to very very late. (Lately leaning to very very, argh). When I do get to bed, G usually gets grumbly because I shift all the blankets around that are tangled in order to be covered. I've tried to tell him many times that if he would arrange the blankets when he got into bed, I wouldn't disturb him as much when I came.

For some reason this morning it hit me. I bet if I would make the bed in the morning, the blankets would still be in pretty good shape at night, even if I got there second. It seems pretty obvious now, but I was oblivious to it before. So wrapped up in wanting him to think about me and leave things in a way that would show he was thinking about me. On the few nights that I go to bed first I am very aware of leaving the night lights on, etc, and wish the same could be done for me.

There is that saying about being the change you wish to see in the world. One of those ones that sounds all very well and good, but come on - how can I BE world peace? or BE the end of hunger? I'm sure someone out there has an answer for that, but for the most part the concepts that are too big, too overwhelming. I've been thinking about some of the stuff I learned in Peru, about asking for small things - please help me climb up these ruins today. please help me finish my homework. please help me find sweetness in life outside of food. please help me go to bed at a decent hour. (!) :-)

Is it really so selfish to ask for little things that help you be more comfortable and happy? Because a comfortable, happy person is more likely to be productive and contribute, to have the energy to help others, etc, etc.

So yes. I'll get to go test my theory now. If it works, I've found a good reason to make the bed every day. And both of us will get a better, more comfortable night's sleep, waking up to be happier people. Who knows how that will affect our days?

Be the change.

Little changes can make a big difference.

PS In other news - I AM SO TIRED OF BEING COLD DAMMIT!!!!! It just seems to keep snowing and snowing and snowing. ;-(

Better

Stayed up till 3, woke up to a phone call at 9am and had to jump out of bed to go walk the neighbor's dog. (He had gone to KC with G) After walking all the way around the park was not really feeling like going back to bed. Cranky most of the morning. Got to take a good nap this afternoon and doing much better night tonight. Helped at Sharon's birthday concert at Cafe P. Sweet, fun, happy. Lots of fun guys to play with her too. Sounded great.

Feels like Sunday already because I went to Peter Pan on Thurs, KRUU benefit on Friday and concert tonight, but I have one more play to see tomorrow - Beauty & the Beast in Bloomfield. Need to figure out how long it takes to get there. Going to the matinee.

Only problem with taking the nap is it makes it easier to stay up late. grah.

Strange to Be Home

We just got back from our big trip. It's a little unreal. I woke up last night semi panicked because I had no idea where I was and I was feeling my way around the room but I couldn't find a light switch or a door to the bathroom and it was pitch black. I called out to Gilberto that I couldn't see anything and he turned on the light and in a rush I realized we were home and I was in our own bedroom and had felt my way to the closet! I had gotten so in the habit of waking up in strange places for the past two weeks that it didn't occur to me that I'd be home! Plus I hadn't woken up in the dark for pretty much the whole time there - especially in Dundee, it's far enough north that they have more daylight hours in the summer. Anyway, it was quite a bizzare experience!