Learning, learning, learning

So. Saturday. I think it went pretty well. I ended up singing with someone who was already in the show and already knew and loved the song. He's much more experienced than I am with guitar so it was nice to have him play and just be able to focus on the vocals and projecting. He was doing a different version of the song, so I'm not sure exactly how it fit together when we sang the same last verse, I tried to follow him, but we only had an hour or so to work on it a few hours before the show. In any case, the producers liked it, and I felt strong and confident in what it was, I totally had fun and let go of it being any more than we had time to do in the time we had.

The emcee totally dissed the song before we came on, saying he wondered why it was in the show at all and then found out backstage just before coming on that it had also been covered by someone famous/cool, so maybe he was ok with it now or somthing. It was weird. Especially since it was ON the list of possible songs to sing sent out by the producer, not just something I came up with! It was good to get feedback from people later about various things because it helped me see a little more objectively which parts were coming down to a matter of taste, and that maybe next time I can be a little more confident in my opinions, in saying, "That's nice, but this is the way *I* want this to happen", sort of a thing. If there is a next time. I'm soooo glad I did it, but not sure if that is the arena for me to pursue... We'll see. I felt really comfortable up there, natural. I wasn't nervous afterward. I did get good feedback from a bunch of people, even after the night, which I always consider to be the true test. If they see you later and say something, when you didn't even know if they were there or not, that means they didn't HAVE to say it so you know it's genuine.

I did my warm-up routine that afternoon before rehearsing, I think that is part of what helped. Also that the sound guy told me as we were prepping - "just get right up on the mic, don't be afraid!" somehow that snapped something in me (in a good way!) and I just went for it.

Also, surprise, surprise (not really!), turns out I was PMSing on Christmas Eve, so yeah, it was a crummy situation, but that helped me feel like I was not a true, terrible basket case/lost cause (just a temporary one) and that I might in fact be able to handle more of this kind of stuff than I thought - on good days at least. It seems unfair that the PMS so often turns up as me questioning my whole right to exist and be happy and follow my dreams. Rotten sabotager!!

Got to hang out with J while she did a few errands/appointments in IC yesterday. Nice to reconnect, nice to talk about art/acting/singing and fears and insecurities and hopes and see how much it's the same and also how much I've moved ahead by working through The Artist's Way. Also goes to show it doesn't really matter where you live as an artist. The same drama and headtrips, internal and external, happen in small towns and big cities alike.

The last couple weeks have also been just showing me how effective the tools I have are, IF I USE THEM. The journaling, the singing warm up. They work. It's all simple, useful, much less drama, I have them already! Not hard! The thing that's in my way is my head and more and more often I'm seeing that and just tired of it. So good. Progress. Sheesh.

I wrote a screenplay over the past couple of days and submitted it to a local contest. It's super short format, I may have even made it too long. Two pages over the "minute per page" rule, but it's hard to tell how long it would be when acted out. I hope it still qualifies. Hard to know. I have no idea if it's any good. Maybe it's stupid. But I freaking wrote a screenplay! Are you kidding me??? Who am I?

Part of me says I'm dinking around, distracting myself from songwriting, thinking that maybe screenwriting is easier only because I haven't done it before and don't know all the things I need to know, being too naive. Part of me says "You're a writer. There are many formats available for storytelling and for this story you chose a screenplay."

It's a simple little thing. Not much happens. I wonder if there's even enough time for all the action AND the dialogue to happen in the allotted time. But part of me is hoping that the simple is beautiful, that it's a little snapshot of "Oh, I recognize a little bit of me there, I don't feel so alone." Not world changing or funny or gimmicky, no twist at the end really. It might not be enough for the contest judges, but I feel good to have done it. I'm not attached.

I'll know by the middle of next month if anything comes of it with this contest, if not, maybe I'll post it somewhere. Dunno...

Anyway, been really terrible about sleep lately, gonna try to bump it up by a little tonight, maybe a half hour per night and get back in the swing of things. Silly holidays throwing everything all out of wack. Or me allowing that as an excuse at least... hrmph.

cooooookies!

Dang, I went to Everybody's and forgot the ingredient I needed for the tarts. I have very nearly all the other two types of cookies I prepped last night baked off. One batch in the oven and one more after that. The problem with mass producing lots of little cookies is it takes a LOOOOONG time. Sigh. They are tasty though!

The Cafe did it! Opened today! They still have work to do finishing stuff up, but they had tables and chairs and the espresso machine working and I got there in time for the last scone. It's still kind of paint/lacquer fume-y in there, but that will go away soon I'm sure. It appears they opted out of having kitchen space. I guess I'll find out some things when I go in on Saturday to cook brunch. I just found out tonight they have a basement, which you access through a trap door in the floor in front of the stage, and that is where they have the refrigerators they had in their second room at the old place. Seriously????? It's a major bad set up for anyone cooking. Possibly much worse than before actually, when I'm thinking about it. In the old space, the cooking area was right next to the fridge and sink and stuff. Now there's the whole bar in-between. You'd likely have to walk through the coffee line to get to the fridge and sink now, or even go open the trap door to restock?!?!?! Good geesh. It's just not their priority I guess. I'm sure there are work-arounds, but it's going to take some figuring out. sigh.

Put up some posters for a musician's show. Went to OTM with L to see New Moon again. Realized I pretty much didn't want to see most of the first part of the movie. Frustrating and sad part of the story. Totally team Jacob at the moment. :D We pondered how they were going to pull off the other two books, as the story-line strays farther and farther from reality... Hoping they invest more in their CGI. Got home, let the dog I'm taking care of this week out and gave it dinner. (It eats baby carrots for dinner, how cute is that?!) Went and borrowed a mic stand so I can practice the song with something in front of my face cuz that's a whole different ball game.

They were reading The Littlest Angel on the radio tonight. I had read/heard it before, but long enough ago that I didn't really remember how it ended. Pretty beautiful. There are so many versions of the story - a young/poor person doesn't have anything to give as a gift to the Christ Child, but they give the best they have. They either realize their gift is shabby and try to sneak it in, or they suddenly see their gift next to all the glorious glitzy other presents and freak out in embarrassment. "What was I thinking, that I/my gift was worthy?! I'm so ashamed!" But then because their gift was given from the heart, God takes it and proclaims it worthy, and then suddenly the gift is elevated to pretty much being one of the best gifts of all, or is even transformed into something super fancy as a reward for being humble and honest. It gave me hope for the concert this weekend. Even if I'm not as shiny and loud as a lot of the other performers, I still have something to offer and it's worthy. Tomorrow is the run-through/rehearsal. Which means I have to do a good job. I'm not as nervous as I was a few days ago, but geesh. Pressure...

Snow

It's hard to conceive that just yesterday, YESTERDAY, I walked up to the civic center for a Christmas concert in my fleece and a hat and gloves and I was fine, and today the ground is all covered in snow!

Between the awesome concert and the white landscape, it's got me in quite the Christmassy mood, which is good. I think the snow without the concert preceding it would have had me mopey.

We're supposed to get a crazy winter storm tomorrow and for the next day too I think though, so let's hope the concert is powerful enough to keep spirits up through that! :) No pressure.

Roller Coaster Ride

Oh yeah, so that emotional roller coaster I was mentioning in the last post, we took a little downhill turn today.  I'm still overall very much happier than I was a few months ago, exciting things are happening, little jobs are coming in for a little bit more money, I'm keeping really busy and being more social, and I almost wouldn't register this little blip except that I'd kind of like to keep some sort of record of these down times to see if/how they coordinate with my monthly cycle, which I suspect strongly that they do.  But as always, it's not that the emotions aren't there and then magically pop into existence, it's just that my abilities to ignore or deny or stuff them down weakens at certain points, or when I let myself think about it for extended periods or a certain circumstance brings it to my face...

My current class on Melody is really bringing it up.  I have a hard time with feeling stupid, with allowing myself to learn new things.  It's particularly hard when I have a dichotomy of my brain understanding the underlying theory behind something, and my hands just plain not having the built in or trained ability to make it happen.  It's scary and frustrating because I don't know how much practice it would take to get to that mind/body fluency, if I would ever even get there, and if I DO have the capacity, what would be the fastest way to get there.  So I end up avoiding it altogether, doing stupid things that give me a false and fast sense of accomplishment like dopey games on Facebook - "I made it to level 24!" and such.  The Melody class makes me feel stupid.  Makes me think things like, "Well, maybe I should just be a lyricist..."

This is a deep, deep pattern, procrastinating to the point of not having much time to finish a project, so that I have a "good excuse" if it ends up not being very good - "of course it's not, I didn't spend much time on it!"

I have wild vacillating moments of thoughts that seem normal at one second and then seem wildly audacious the next - I saw a site for a songwriting contest and started pondering if I should enter - it's $35 per song, which is not that much and yet kind of a lot of money.  It's definitely a barrier to make sure people are sure of themselves to a point that means a certain level of quality for the most part.  So I was really thinking about it like it was no big deal, just try it without any expectations sort of thing, and then I started seeing some of the names of people who had entered and won or even just been finalists in the past, people I really admire and think are great songwriters.  And then I quickly spiraled down into comparison land again - "Who am I to even try to put myself up next to those people?!"

But tiny things give me hope - working on a song with someone I trust, who will tell me when things aren't working, and then her saying for one of them "This is really pretty."  Getting asked to record a little, and comparing that recording to a big name and thinking it actually sounds pretty good, sound quality-wise anyway.  (There's another one of those things where I do something that seems normal at first and then suddenly audacious).  A nice comment on a YouTube video.  Online musician friends taking my requests for advice seriously and giving me real feedback.  Last year a pop singer visiting from LA, who has been signed to a big label years back, telling me that she really LIKED my melodies.  Twice.  And that was stuff I wrote years before this class!  I don't know what it will/would take for me to feel like I have permission to be here, to do this.

I talked to G and he said he didn't think I should give up so easily on songwriting.  That maybe I needed to take more classes, spend more hours on the work.  That frustrated me because we looked at the financials months back, when I was deciding to do the whole certificate program, and there just wasn't any way that I could just take classes (like maybe 2 at a time) and not be bringing at least a minimum amount of money in to cover bills.  I feel like I've really minimized my expenses and I don't really see any areas where I could cut back further.  I've gotten even more creative in trying to figure out trades/volunteering/working for certain things that I want/need to have/do.  

G was maybe also implying that I just need to be patient and take more time, however much I need, but I feel so much pressure to do/be/have/get started "for real" NOW NOW NOW.  Because I know we want a family both family and career are things that everyone says are best started young and I'm not getting younger!

If I just wanted to write songs for me to hear, well, I do that already.  The problem/challenge is I want to be successful.  I don't know if there's anyone in the world who knows how to do that, really, not with a formula.  Well, there are formulas for pop stars maybe, but even then, why does one person or group catch on with "the public" more than the other, when all other things seem to be equal?

And then I think and wonder - do I really want to be even partially famous?  How famous does one have to be to be sustainable?  Whatever that is, could I handle it??  Not that I think that would really even probably be a problem for quite a while, or really that it's one I'd be lucky to have.  And I read the blogs of the independent artists I admire who are working their asses off and the are struggling to stay afloat and people are watching the TV's in the bars instead of them, and I see the shows here in town where the cafe which is small already feels empty and I'm trying to discretely count how many people are there and figure out the worst possible scenario for how much they need to spend on gas and will they make it to the next town but thank goodness they have a free place to stay tonight at least and why on earth would I want to put myself through that, huh?

Well, the reason why is because of the friggin amazing moments I have listening to those indie heros and heroines - transporting, heart opening/healing, soul connection, deep understanding, uplifting, belly laughing, epiphany moments.  I can't receive those moments and NOT be inspired to attempt to reciprocate, not necessarily with them, but with the cosmic energy - I get such a charge I feel like I need to give back however I can.  And somehow some part of me thinks/feels I need to do it in song form, rather than any other myriad ways that one could give back.  The blogging about musicians and the radio show helps a little, but it's really not enough.  I need to do it myself.  Writing songs is what watching the performances inspires me to do, not paint or write novels or whatever, writing a song.

The other thing that frustrates me about a lot of the classes I take is they seem to want to teach me about the blues.  I like the blues live, and for dancing.  But I don't sit down and pick out a blues album to listen to when I want to listen to music.  It's not the kind of music I want to write (at this point in my life at least!  Don't want to be definitive when who knows who/how I will be in the future).  I know that there will be principles in blues music that will apply to any kind of music, but it feels like a roundabout way to get to what I want.  I actually like a lot of what I write, at the time I write it at least, but I don't have the perspective to know if it's any good in the eyes of the general opinion.  I know there will always be people on the full range of the fence, but there really is a general consensus on a lot of things.

I really need someone I can talk to about this, maybe several someones, but people who can both tell me the truth about where I stand at the moment, and what my chances are, without crushing my soul or making me feel dumb for even considering it.  I know my beautiful, wonderful, amazing friends and family can give me all sorts of encouragement, but it's very very sad to say, I don't generally trust them to give me the more objective feedback I need.  It's good, because I also DO need a group of people to love and support me unconditionally, I need that very much!  But I think I'm ready for that other level of feedback from a different group of people, that pushes me forward...  

Late night freak out ramblings....

"Coldsure" Shock

As I pulled on a pair of fleece socks over my SmartWool socks this morning, I found myself marveling at the fact that only a week ago I was happily pulling a new Hawaiian sundress over my head.  I think it's time to admit I've been in somewhat of a culture/weather shock since coming home, and it's only been softened by the fact that I don't really have to get up and go out anywhere in the mornings, or even all day if I don't want to.  I've been sleeping in till 11:30 or 12 since Wednesday.  (Which is 6:30 or 7 in Hawaii, about when I was waking up there).  Having the radio show and my birthday celebrations and friends inviting me out for coffee has been good at getting me out of the house at all.  

People may be mislead by the fact that I'm happily spamming Facebook pictures with comments into thinking that I'm all fine and dandy, but I'd also be just as happy to curl up in bed with the Stephanie Meyer books I just picked up from the library and not come out till spring.  Except that they wouldn't last me that long and they're due back at the beginning of February anyway.  I haven't started them yet because I know there's a pile of stuff I should be doing and I know that once I start it'll be exceedingly hard for me to put them down.  

When I read, I read hard, fast and intensely.  My friends and family would always try to shake me out of my book comas as a kid.  Quite brave of them to face my snarls at being ripped out of my fantasy worlds.  They could bounce all over the couch I was lying on and I'd totally ignore them, but trying to get me to actually stop was a bad idea.

I'm not that bad anymore, but I've still been known to stay up so late near the end of a story that my eyes water and the book is practically falling out of my hand just to find out how it finishes.  Only problem with that is I tend to forget what actually happened the next morning and end up having to re-read the last 50 pages or so to find out.

Went to see Catie Curtis last night at CSPS.  They are still struggling after the June floods, it was cold enough that everyone pretty much had to wear their coats and hats inside, and one of their toilets doesn't quite work properly yet, but it was a testament to survival that the show went on.  Meg Hutchinson opened for her, really amazing.  I'd found her several months ago on MySpace and kind of forgotten about it, so it was awesome to see her face on the posters and even more awesome to hear her music.  Praise be to YouTube, I was able to find the song she opened with that doesn't seem to be on any of her records yet (tiny ad at the beginning): 

Travel In by Meg Hutchinson.

This is not the best quality video of the song, but the song Fools off Catie's new album was the one of hers that gave me chills:

Well worth the drive up to Cedar Rapids and the cold in the room.  Thank goodness I was wearing warm socks! :)

Bam. Whoa.

Went to the Ellis concert tonight. Had my heart blown open. Felt kind of shaky and raw afterward. I remember having two big realizations and they've left my mind by now, but maybe if I keep writing a little they will come back.

One of them might have been about how worried and protective I get of "my" musicians. Hoping that everyone is liking them, understanding, getting it, enjoying the show. Which is totally ridiculous! I can't control how other people feel and react! So I kind of watched myself freak out and worry about it, and it was kind of amusing.

I think another might have been something about how Ellis seems so cool and collected and has everything together, but juxtaposed with how creative and spontaneous and how she's really searching and trying to figure things out in life. And somehow by admitting to a big group of people that she DOESN'T have it all figured out somehow means that she DOES. I'm not sure how to have that make sense. Except it somehow does...

She often writes about the times she is scared or confused or doesn't know what's going on in life, but somehow it's uplifting and expansive. She said something about yoga, how usually in class it's like stretching "ow, ow, ow." and then after she leaves there's more room, and that she wonders if life is like that in the hard moments, like being stretched, and then if she'll get to leave the yoga room soon, and feel opened up.

And I got scared, during and after, because I thought - oh, I need to open up, I need to show more of my insides if I want to be effective in reflecting back to people who they are. I was talking to H.L. afterward and she said she could see that I was raw, but it was good, where we were supposed to be, more open. It's terrifying to be that vulnerable! But the kind of terrifying that makes me feel more alive, and like something big and important is happening.

I hung around after the show, listening to conversations, doing my best to have a few myself. I wonder what it is, that I'm so much more forward online? I guess it feels safer behind the screen. Whatever reaction a person has to my output online is not something I have to deal with in the moment. I get to wait until they react, if they do at all, and then I have time to think about my response to that, because writing is a much more deliberate thing.

Doing the radio show has helped a lot I think, being in the moment, talking to strangers. It's still a little different than being in the same room with someone, one on one, looking in their eyes. It's much harder to just be present with them, and be willing to not know what to say at any one moment and still stay with it. I'm not sure if I just think slower than most people or what?

Rock Paper Scissors opened the show. They're working on a CD and suddenly they've been writing all sorts of new songs. Their entire set was originals! Gemma said they have 9. Awesome. I always liked the few originals they had when they did them in shows, but now the balance can flip to mostly original and a few covers. Nice. Cuz the songs are still informed by some of the old fashionedy stuff they do, so they have a vintage flavor to them, but new. Love that.

Oughta get to bed. Need to get more done tomorrow than I did today, yeesh. Looking forward to the workshop with Ellis and Terry tomorrow about more of the business side of things.

Yes yes

Feeling incredibly content and grateful. The Rachel Ries/Anais Mitchell concert was as good as I hoped.

It was PACKED. And on Wednesday Steve had been worried it might not be a good turnout. He threatened to just shut down the cafe forever if people didn't come. He made extra posters, Heli got a Facebook event going and I added a bunch of people to it. I'm not sure who's to say those last minute things helped in packing the house but whatever it was it worked. (probably helped there wasn't really any competition to speak of tonight.)

They played the songs off the EP in order, trading the acoustic back and forth. Then they just started playing other stuff. Did a few from Anais' Folk Opera. Which I still SO want to see. Next time she puts it on out there I am getting a ticket and flying out and I am SEEING IT. dammit. So there. Any part of it I hear or see only makes me want to see it more. She borrowed Rachel's electric for one of them, the one about the Wall, and totally had fun with the whammy bar at the end. :)

Anais mentioned me at one point, because she had a song about Venus, and said something like "This is a song about a goddess, and we were on the radio - Lyrical Venus, is that right? (Rachel nods) and she's here tonight. Anyway it was so funny because Heather told us right before we went on that we couldn't both talk at the same time or it would cut out, and then she asked us a question and we were both silent." hehe. And the song rocked. I think Tim was recording. I hope so because that would be awesome to play on my show.

Rachel had a sparkly shirt and hoop earrings that were very much like mine. :) and she played Hands to Water on the piano, sooo beautiful. And told us about her boy that she got to keep and sang a song about him. And did a new one about how it might be if her grandma was still alive that was really awesome. They did an acoustic version of Shenandoah for the encore.

Only wish it had gone on longer. But it kind of did for a few of us - after most everyone cleared out of the cafe people brought out whiskey and wine and bread and olives and cheese. Somehow we started singing some Christmas carols, because the sound of the roaster was like one of those sleigh bell song beats I think, and then Tom Morgan grabbed Anais' guitar and we sang the first verse of a bunch more, because everyone knows them, but only the first verse really. Sharon sang a couple, and gave everyone some mini shoulder massages. Tim went home and got his pipes, flute & mandolin and some really amazing Italian parmesan that you break off in chunks "so as not to destroy the crystalline structure." Heli gave Rachel a crash course in knitting and Tim gave Anais a crash course in pipes.

Steve got Rachel and Anais to each do one more at the end, and Helen requested one of my favorite's of Rachel's - Summer Came, A Warning. And when Tom asked her she said that she taught herself to play guitar by being stubborn and listening to songs and figuring them out by ear, that she had no theory or fret board knowledge. Anais did a new one she said isn't finished but it was damn amazing and damn sad about a farmer trying to get the hay in before it rained and his wife was in labor and she kept telling him to go out and finish or the whole season would be lost and they could go to the hospital when he finished, but he got half the hay in and went to check on her and she was dead. I had feeling that was where the thing was going, but it still broke my heart. Apparently based on a story her dad wrote.

Told Anais that Brooke had played her song Changer (that was maybe the only one I especially wished she would have played that she didn't) at my house concert and she said what an honor and if I saw Brooke to say hello because she hadn't seen her in a long time. Not really sure when that would happen, but it's nice anyway, and I do hope Brooke comes back.

So yes, a full and happy heart have I tonight. I love it when something is as good as you hoped it would be. So often the high expectations are impossible to live up to. This was not one of those cases.

Better

Stayed up till 3, woke up to a phone call at 9am and had to jump out of bed to go walk the neighbor's dog. (He had gone to KC with G) After walking all the way around the park was not really feeling like going back to bed. Cranky most of the morning. Got to take a good nap this afternoon and doing much better night tonight. Helped at Sharon's birthday concert at Cafe P. Sweet, fun, happy. Lots of fun guys to play with her too. Sounded great.

Feels like Sunday already because I went to Peter Pan on Thurs, KRUU benefit on Friday and concert tonight, but I have one more play to see tomorrow - Beauty & the Beast in Bloomfield. Need to figure out how long it takes to get there. Going to the matinee.

Only problem with taking the nap is it makes it easier to stay up late. grah.

Phew!

Went to the Ali Sperry & Betsy Huebner concert tonight, thanks to selling one box of tea and taking on a bracelet repair that my brother refused at the Farmer's Market. I even have $2 left! Wheee. Tuesday can't come fast enough, my goodness. Not that I'll have MUCH left afterwards, seeing as I still need to pay off my plane ticket from the big trip, but luckily there is a special offer going on one of our credit cards that we never use of 0 percent on balance transfers for 6 months, so I shifted my excess over to that, which should help me pay it off faster.

The concert was really sweet and inspiring, though I couldn't help but notice that a large percentage of Betsy's songs involved drugs or dissed boys in some way, or were a bit heavy/depressing, while Ali's songs for the most part were happier, or love songs, and to top off that impression for me, Betsy was wearing black and a silver chain belt, while Ali was wearing white with yellow leg warmers and a sparkley headband. Don't get me wrong, they were both AWESOME, it was just something I noticed. :) Ali did another gorgeous original that she wrote for her boy. I told her I can't wait till she does a concert that's a flip of the ones she does now, where she'll do all originals and then one kick-ass cover. Her original stuff is so powerful, it has that little extra edge of connectedness that sets it just over the cover stuff she does so well.

She told me that *I* needed to do a show myself, which really is true. And I was glad that I was inspired by them to do a concert, rather than intimidated - which sometimes happens at these things. and I was a little worried about that happening because I had a meltdown day today. (Which I'm blaming on the full moon because it's not the right time in my cycle, and I do have werewolf tendencies where I turn into a raving monster for no apparent reason other than the moon. God bless G for sticking with me through it, even if he doesn't understand it at all. (heart)) I almost considered not going because I was feeling so raw, but I'm really, really glad I did.

I feel like there might be some new songs coming, what with the poetry class getting me writing artistically on a more regular basis. I was also having thoughts about asking Ali & David to perform with me! I don't know what their story is for stuff like that, I'm sure David doesn't work for free... I also don't know what the set up for the Cafe is anymore, I'm sure they need a cut. If I didn't actually need the $ myself I'd also think of donating it to KRUU.FM, but maybe there could be some sort of a split, OR "pass a hat" around midway like they did at the Adrien concert...

Rachel Ries at The EcoVillage Last Summer

www.rachelries.com

So the video quality is really bad cuz it's outside at night, and there's a bit of a low buzz in the background - that would be the frogs and crickets singing backup, but despite all that I thought the audio came off pretty well for a little digital camera and therefore worth sharing.

I showed it to Rachel first and got the go-ahead that it was ok to share. :)

I *think* the song is called "Lovesong" but I could be completely wrong! Anyway, enjoy!

My Live Independent Music Spending Habits

Response to a MySpace blog by Matthew Clay.

Ok, your original post was forever ago, but I guess it's an ongoing discussion. :)

I go to indie shows because I love the magic that happens live on stage. Even if it's not my favorite genre, I almost always get something out of it, whether it's joy, or learning something new about music - even what not to do! So I never feel like my $ was wasted. Sometimes it costs more to see a movie out, and a live concert is a once in a lifetime experience!

As far as CD's, I buy them after concerts if I like the music in and think I'll listen to it several times - or if I've seen and liked an artist and their CD's previously I'll get their new releases without hearing it. If I don't think I'll listen to the CD repeatedly but I still want to support the band, I'll buy a sticker or if they have a tip jar, sometimes I'll put a few dollars in there instead, cuz I know that they usually have to share the door money with the venue.

CD price can factor in a bit too. I don't expect to pay more than $12 or $15, but I also remember that I'm saving on shipping, and I like if I can get it signed after the concert - that adds value for me. If it's a $5-7 demo type thing and I liked the music at all I'll probably buy it almost without thinking.

I love live music, and I know I have to support it if I want it to continue to be performed at places near me!