I had an interesting day yesterday.
I made a list of things I wanted to get done, and I cranked through them. I actually managed to get nearly all of them finished. My guitar lesson didn't happen because my teacher didn't show. I guess she has a new job and we hadn't checked in about changing the time. I am not too worried about rescheduling, she's good about that, it's just a matter of finding a time that works for both of us, especially with me heading out of town for a week on Saturday afternoon. But I got a ton of stuff out in the mail, one package went out to a friend with a collection of stuff that I hadn't sent to her in years, including a thank you note from our wedding, yikes!
I dropped off some little Valentine chocolates to friends, I even did some work errands, fitting in an hour and a half where i thought maybe I wouldn't get to do anything.
I even made it to the pool for 30-40 minutes or so & got about 5 minutes in at the sauna. G got me a dozen pink roses (my favorite color) and I got him a cute balloon, but we didn't really do anything else special to celebrate Valentine's day.
The one other thing I didn't get done that was on my list was get the give-away clothes out of the house. I realized at the last minute that I could have even fulfilled that list item by at least bagging them up and bringing them to the car that night, but somehow just realizing I COULD have done that, seemed to let me off the hook for doing it.
By many accounts, I did really well yesterday, I was productive, caught up on a lot of backlog stuff. For much of the day I was feeling almost high at the prospect of spring, the sun was out, the snow was melting and the birds were chattering. But somehow on my way to the pool, I found myself really, really sad. Crying. I couldn't connect it to anything specific really. I was maybe a little bummed we didn't do anything very special for Valentine's, but I definitely didn't want to go out and eat a big meal after our crazy indulgent weekend, and we're about to go on a trip together to TX, so it seemed silly to go out anywhere with that big expense coming up, so I don't know what else I really would have wanted to do. As I gently poked around my mind and body trying to figure out the why, I also had the thought, "why is it so important to know WHY this is happening? What if you were just experiencing it and could be ok with that? Just release it and let it go. Does it really matter one way or another why as long as it gets out?"
I met with my herbalist today who said that the spring is the season of the liver, and that the liver is where we store sadness, so it may just be some of that happening. Maybe so. A lot is moving these days, a lot of energy is flowing, old stuff is leaving. I've got quite the itch to DO, it feels good when I actually get to do it. That's pretty natural for spring I think. The thaw. Literal and metaphorical. Maybe that's why we always talk about the weather. It seems trivial, but it's so connected to our life experience on so many levels...
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts
Showing posts with label weather. Show all posts
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Monday, December 07, 2009
Snow
It's hard to conceive that just yesterday, YESTERDAY, I walked up to the civic center for a Christmas concert in my fleece and a hat and gloves and I was fine, and today the ground is all covered in snow!
Between the awesome concert and the white landscape, it's got me in quite the Christmassy mood, which is good. I think the snow without the concert preceding it would have had me mopey.
We're supposed to get a crazy winter storm tomorrow and for the next day too I think though, so let's hope the concert is powerful enough to keep spirits up through that! :) No pressure.
Friday, April 04, 2008
Blogging from the Road
Friday April 4th
We got a modem for our rental car so we could use our laptops on the road. It also works wherever you plug it in. Kind of funny to be blogging at 65mph! And aside from that, we're driving around Jacksonville right now! I sent an email out to my ex-coworkers who are here last night, but only heard back from one of them, and we ended up staying at the Kennedy Space Center longer than we expected, so we didn't really make it here it time to visit anyone, so we're going to see how we feel to keep going so we don't have to get up too early tomorrow to drive to Atlanta.
It was fun to see G enjoying the Space Center, and inspiring to hear about some of the stuff again, as well as hear new developments.
Saturday April 5th
Whoops! I forgot to post this last night! We found a tasty Mexican restaurant in St Augustine - La Cocina. We found a Motel 6 about an hour or so after that. Woke up, found bagels and smoothies at a nearby Steak and Shake (we were thinking about pancakes at IHOP but it was full and we wanted to get on the road. S & S just happened to be behind it and fairly empty and we were able to get our stuff to go.
Now we're in Georgia, and it's raining, so that's slowing us down. Doesn't look like it's going to let up for a while either. (Hooray for internet and checking the weather in the car! oh... I guess there's always radios... we're such geeks!)
On Thursday we went with my Grandma to a place called Autumn House, where she plays for the Alzheimers residents there. I brought my little guitar and played a couple as well. They seemed to like it - they took turns dancing to the Latin rhythms my Grandma played and seemed to quiet down and pay attention when I played. They even asked me to play a song again at the end because a few people had missed it, and the activities director liked it. It felt really good to bring a little light into their day, and it really makes my Grandma's day too - she says when she plays she doesn't feel old, she just feels happy.
On Thursday night we went to their town/subdivision meeting where my Grandpa is on the board. My Grandma really wanted us to see their council and how it was representative of the melting pot that the US is - men, women, young, old, black, white. And here was a little group of citizens who care and are trying to make sure good things get done for their community. They have a big problem right now where a part of their road over a little culvert is caving in, and they aren't sure they'll be able to get government money to help fix it because it's a private subdivision. But the county fixed it before and it only lasted for 6 years, so they are trying to find out if they can get them to come back and do it right this time. It was neat to see.
It was a very inspiring couple of days - people helping each other out, bringing happiness to and respecting elders, and discovering amazing new inventions and facts about the universe - this is the America that I can be proud of, the spirit we're supposed to have, the kind of people other people like. Sigh. At least people like that exist out there! I'd like to hope they are the majority, and I'd like to hope they are finally motivated to do something for change.
We got a modem for our rental car so we could use our laptops on the road. It also works wherever you plug it in. Kind of funny to be blogging at 65mph! And aside from that, we're driving around Jacksonville right now! I sent an email out to my ex-coworkers who are here last night, but only heard back from one of them, and we ended up staying at the Kennedy Space Center longer than we expected, so we didn't really make it here it time to visit anyone, so we're going to see how we feel to keep going so we don't have to get up too early tomorrow to drive to Atlanta.
It was fun to see G enjoying the Space Center, and inspiring to hear about some of the stuff again, as well as hear new developments.
Saturday April 5th
Whoops! I forgot to post this last night! We found a tasty Mexican restaurant in St Augustine - La Cocina. We found a Motel 6 about an hour or so after that. Woke up, found bagels and smoothies at a nearby Steak and Shake (we were thinking about pancakes at IHOP but it was full and we wanted to get on the road. S & S just happened to be behind it and fairly empty and we were able to get our stuff to go.
Now we're in Georgia, and it's raining, so that's slowing us down. Doesn't look like it's going to let up for a while either. (Hooray for internet and checking the weather in the car! oh... I guess there's always radios... we're such geeks!)
On Thursday we went with my Grandma to a place called Autumn House, where she plays for the Alzheimers residents there. I brought my little guitar and played a couple as well. They seemed to like it - they took turns dancing to the Latin rhythms my Grandma played and seemed to quiet down and pay attention when I played. They even asked me to play a song again at the end because a few people had missed it, and the activities director liked it. It felt really good to bring a little light into their day, and it really makes my Grandma's day too - she says when she plays she doesn't feel old, she just feels happy.
On Thursday night we went to their town/subdivision meeting where my Grandpa is on the board. My Grandma really wanted us to see their council and how it was representative of the melting pot that the US is - men, women, young, old, black, white. And here was a little group of citizens who care and are trying to make sure good things get done for their community. They have a big problem right now where a part of their road over a little culvert is caving in, and they aren't sure they'll be able to get government money to help fix it because it's a private subdivision. But the county fixed it before and it only lasted for 6 years, so they are trying to find out if they can get them to come back and do it right this time. It was neat to see.
It was a very inspiring couple of days - people helping each other out, bringing happiness to and respecting elders, and discovering amazing new inventions and facts about the universe - this is the America that I can be proud of, the spirit we're supposed to have, the kind of people other people like. Sigh. At least people like that exist out there! I'd like to hope they are the majority, and I'd like to hope they are finally motivated to do something for change.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
I Made It!
(More MySpace cross posting)
Current mood: tired
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Well, there's lots I could say I'm sure, but the main thing is - I'm all moved out of the office and I don't have to go back. It was a weird day, people were weepy and saying nice things about those of us leaving and such. And bit by bit it looked less and less like the place where I spent so many hours of my life for over 3 years.
I don't know about other offices, but as an art company, and especially as the creative department, our walls and ceilings and cubicles were full of art, posters, color, balloons, lights, plants etc. So seeing it all stripped bare and white was quite bizzare. I was the last one out of our room. There's still a lot of clean-up to do, especially in some of the other rooms.
Now my living room and entry way is full of the crap I brought home, that was as far as we had the energy to bring it in. Some of it is really awesome crap, but finding the places for it... ergh.
Pretty much went from work to shopping for a present for my brother to his party to bed to Farmer's Market today. It was kind of slow but I'm still glad I did it, sold a few things that I hope people will like getting as presents.
There's a lot I should be doing today. So tired. And we're getting some freezing drizzle type stuff. Whoopdeedoo! We had a big snow dump and by now it's all melted. I heard it was supposed to snow tonight. It would be nice to have a white Christmas for the first time in a while.
Current mood: tired
Category: Jobs, Work, Careers
Well, there's lots I could say I'm sure, but the main thing is - I'm all moved out of the office and I don't have to go back. It was a weird day, people were weepy and saying nice things about those of us leaving and such. And bit by bit it looked less and less like the place where I spent so many hours of my life for over 3 years.
I don't know about other offices, but as an art company, and especially as the creative department, our walls and ceilings and cubicles were full of art, posters, color, balloons, lights, plants etc. So seeing it all stripped bare and white was quite bizzare. I was the last one out of our room. There's still a lot of clean-up to do, especially in some of the other rooms.
Now my living room and entry way is full of the crap I brought home, that was as far as we had the energy to bring it in. Some of it is really awesome crap, but finding the places for it... ergh.
Pretty much went from work to shopping for a present for my brother to his party to bed to Farmer's Market today. It was kind of slow but I'm still glad I did it, sold a few things that I hope people will like getting as presents.
There's a lot I should be doing today. So tired. And we're getting some freezing drizzle type stuff. Whoopdeedoo! We had a big snow dump and by now it's all melted. I heard it was supposed to snow tonight. It would be nice to have a white Christmas for the first time in a while.
Sunday, December 02, 2007
It's Here!
(Beginning is a Cross post from MySpace)
December. And the Ice and Snow. Grah.
Spent most of the day lazy, inside. Was supposed to have a vocal workshop but it got canceled due to the ice storm. Did manage to shower and dress and get out to see the final show of The Gondoliers, which was good. A bunch of the great regulars, some new greats, costumes, set, voices, band, all great. I figured out the final plot twist pretty early on, so I'm trying to decide if I'm happy i was smart enough to pick up on it, or mad because then for the whole rest of the show it seemed a little slow, like "get to the end where it all works out already!" except that then I would have missed all the awesome dancing and songs. So it's all good.
I'm also conflicted about December, because on the one hand I am so ready for this month to be over (work), and on the other hand I need a few months to get ready for it (Christmas). Usually every year I come up with some little crafty present that I make for all my family and close friends - candles, tea, jewelry, etc. And this year I'm just NOT feeling it, at all. The only thing I want to do when I'm home is sleep or waste time online.
I saw a picture of myself today, of me in my Halloween costume at work 3 years ago, in the old building, when I'd just started. 3 years and 75 lbs ago. The thing that kills me is right now I think I look pretty good in that picture, but back then I thought I was fat. I certainly wasn't skinny skinny, but I was doing pretty good. Geesh, the things a stressful desk job and getting older will do to you. Here's hoping whatever happens next in my life will include more activity and creativity, and less stress.
The thing is, I also remember that 3 years ago I was really freaked out and depressed and drifting and trying to scrape by financially, and the job really saved my life in a whole lot of big ways. I guess though, the job and the company is not the same one that I started with. I know so much more now than I did then - about marketing, the internet and social networking, about the corporate world, about myself. I guess each thing just leads to the next thing.
My next for sure thing is that I'm going to Colombia for 2 months starting in February to study Spanish. I've been wanting to get fluent in it since meeting G. There was one time in the beginning, during our crazy-romantic-whirlwind-we-barely-knew-each-other New England road trip. I don't remember exactly what it was that got him so upset, but my fuzzy impression from what, 6 years ago? was this - I think it was something about how we'd been set up in separate cots in the living room of the family J was staying with after we saw her play and I wouldn't let him come near me or something. I had somehow gotten some paranoid feeling from J about the RULES in the house and I was feeling a bit terrified and not entirely welcome and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize our place to stay so my defense was to behave and be as quiet and small as possible. Whatever it actually was, I do remember quite clearly that G got very upset and started quietly crying and ranting in Spanish. Not only that, he wouldn't translate it either, and it FREAKED ME OUT. I mean, it's one thing not to understand someone, and it's another to not even know what they are saying - at ALL. And somehow, even in that moment, and in several times in the years after that, I've had terrifying notions of my children speaking Spanish, and me not being able to understand THEM either. G's English has gotten super good, and living in the states I'm sure our kids would mostly speak English anyway, but there could still be this secret language they could flip into at any moment to leave me out if I don't learn it.
Aside from that, I think it's cool to be able to speak more than one language, and more and more Spanish is actually a practical skill to have in this country and around the world. All the internet companies are looking to tap into the Spanish speaking market, so there could really be an explosion of need for people who can speak both languages.
I'm a little nervous to be away from home for so long, but it'll be good to get out of the winter weather, and I think it'll take two months to really immerse and be forced into it. But I think I'll get it, especially since I'll be there without G to translate, I'll have to really figure it out for myself.
The two biggest things I'm struggling with about the trip are the whole food thing, and fitting in vs being myself.
Every time I've gone I've had some digestive problems. The first time was really bad and I was knocked out in bed for like 3 days. The second time wasn't too bad, towards the end and it evened out pretty quick when I got home. This last trip was so short and it only started on my last day and I think it had the potential to get bad but I think I knocked out the worst of it with a super hot bath in the hotel the night we got back. My guts are getting better but still not quite right. I'm hoping if I go shopping there I can pick out my own food and just keep it really simple and healthy for a couple months. I think there's also like probiotics or something that should help. I'll ask the ladies at Thymely Solutions.
The whole fitting in thing - there actually IS a level of safety in looking like I fit in there, as opposed to singling myself out as someone from the US. There's the full range of shapes, sizes, colors in Barranquilla, and people have definitely spoken Spanish to me expecting me to understand - at Carnaval they called us Cachacos (from the mountains) before they called us Gringos (US). We were just paler because we didn't have as much of that coastal sun. BUT, from what I could see, all the girls below the age of 35 or so keep their hair long... Which puts a crimp in my plans to go short and some crazy color. Dyeing it dark again is no problem, but length isn't something I can really add back, and it'll only grow so much in 2 months... hrmmmmm. There's also clothes - most of the girls at the university seemed to be wearing long, dark jeans. In that heat? Argh! Oh, and little strappy sandals - no can do with my orthodics. I really need to get over it and just do what I need to do to be comfortable and healthy and myself, and focus on what I'm going there for - to learn Spanish.
Oh, and maybe do a little soul-searching.
I've never really stopped and allowed myself to ask "What do you want to do/be?" Since I got out of school I've mostly focussed on earning money to pay the loans back and haven't really allowed myself to dream or explore. As work got more and more corporate I started feeling more what I DIDN'T want to do or be. Even though I see the crazy life that singer-songwriters have there is some secret part of me that STILL thinks it would be really cool to have enough skills and things to say that you could take yourself on the road and make a difference in people's lives. Fairfield can't be the ONLY town that listens... Why would these people keep touring and putting out records by their own blood, sweat and tears if they weren't getting SOMETHING out of it??
There's supposed to be a guitar class with this AMAZING guitarist starting up in April, which I'd be back for. It'd be once a week in Iowa City I think, but omg it would be so worth the drive to study with her.
At the play tonight one of the actors complimented me on my last show and said I needed to do more stuff. I told him that maybe since work was ending I'd have more time now. It's always nice to get unsolicited feedback weeks after a performance. By then they really don't have to tell you unless they were truly moved or impressed by it.
I've been listening to John Mayer's new song "Say" on repeat while writing this. It's really inspiring me like crazy - "say what you need to say" - "do it with a heart wide open". He wrote it for a movie coming out called "The Bucket List" about two older guys who start doing stuff on their lists of "Things To Do Before Kicking the Bucket". Why wait till getting as old as those guys?
December. And the Ice and Snow. Grah.
Spent most of the day lazy, inside. Was supposed to have a vocal workshop but it got canceled due to the ice storm. Did manage to shower and dress and get out to see the final show of The Gondoliers, which was good. A bunch of the great regulars, some new greats, costumes, set, voices, band, all great. I figured out the final plot twist pretty early on, so I'm trying to decide if I'm happy i was smart enough to pick up on it, or mad because then for the whole rest of the show it seemed a little slow, like "get to the end where it all works out already!" except that then I would have missed all the awesome dancing and songs. So it's all good.
I'm also conflicted about December, because on the one hand I am so ready for this month to be over (work), and on the other hand I need a few months to get ready for it (Christmas). Usually every year I come up with some little crafty present that I make for all my family and close friends - candles, tea, jewelry, etc. And this year I'm just NOT feeling it, at all. The only thing I want to do when I'm home is sleep or waste time online.
I saw a picture of myself today, of me in my Halloween costume at work 3 years ago, in the old building, when I'd just started. 3 years and 75 lbs ago. The thing that kills me is right now I think I look pretty good in that picture, but back then I thought I was fat. I certainly wasn't skinny skinny, but I was doing pretty good. Geesh, the things a stressful desk job and getting older will do to you. Here's hoping whatever happens next in my life will include more activity and creativity, and less stress.
The thing is, I also remember that 3 years ago I was really freaked out and depressed and drifting and trying to scrape by financially, and the job really saved my life in a whole lot of big ways. I guess though, the job and the company is not the same one that I started with. I know so much more now than I did then - about marketing, the internet and social networking, about the corporate world, about myself. I guess each thing just leads to the next thing.
My next for sure thing is that I'm going to Colombia for 2 months starting in February to study Spanish. I've been wanting to get fluent in it since meeting G. There was one time in the beginning, during our crazy-romantic-whirlwind-we-barely-knew-each-other New England road trip. I don't remember exactly what it was that got him so upset, but my fuzzy impression from what, 6 years ago? was this - I think it was something about how we'd been set up in separate cots in the living room of the family J was staying with after we saw her play and I wouldn't let him come near me or something. I had somehow gotten some paranoid feeling from J about the RULES in the house and I was feeling a bit terrified and not entirely welcome and I didn't want to do anything to jeopardize our place to stay so my defense was to behave and be as quiet and small as possible. Whatever it actually was, I do remember quite clearly that G got very upset and started quietly crying and ranting in Spanish. Not only that, he wouldn't translate it either, and it FREAKED ME OUT. I mean, it's one thing not to understand someone, and it's another to not even know what they are saying - at ALL. And somehow, even in that moment, and in several times in the years after that, I've had terrifying notions of my children speaking Spanish, and me not being able to understand THEM either. G's English has gotten super good, and living in the states I'm sure our kids would mostly speak English anyway, but there could still be this secret language they could flip into at any moment to leave me out if I don't learn it.
Aside from that, I think it's cool to be able to speak more than one language, and more and more Spanish is actually a practical skill to have in this country and around the world. All the internet companies are looking to tap into the Spanish speaking market, so there could really be an explosion of need for people who can speak both languages.
I'm a little nervous to be away from home for so long, but it'll be good to get out of the winter weather, and I think it'll take two months to really immerse and be forced into it. But I think I'll get it, especially since I'll be there without G to translate, I'll have to really figure it out for myself.
The two biggest things I'm struggling with about the trip are the whole food thing, and fitting in vs being myself.
Every time I've gone I've had some digestive problems. The first time was really bad and I was knocked out in bed for like 3 days. The second time wasn't too bad, towards the end and it evened out pretty quick when I got home. This last trip was so short and it only started on my last day and I think it had the potential to get bad but I think I knocked out the worst of it with a super hot bath in the hotel the night we got back. My guts are getting better but still not quite right. I'm hoping if I go shopping there I can pick out my own food and just keep it really simple and healthy for a couple months. I think there's also like probiotics or something that should help. I'll ask the ladies at Thymely Solutions.
The whole fitting in thing - there actually IS a level of safety in looking like I fit in there, as opposed to singling myself out as someone from the US. There's the full range of shapes, sizes, colors in Barranquilla, and people have definitely spoken Spanish to me expecting me to understand - at Carnaval they called us Cachacos (from the mountains) before they called us Gringos (US). We were just paler because we didn't have as much of that coastal sun. BUT, from what I could see, all the girls below the age of 35 or so keep their hair long... Which puts a crimp in my plans to go short and some crazy color. Dyeing it dark again is no problem, but length isn't something I can really add back, and it'll only grow so much in 2 months... hrmmmmm. There's also clothes - most of the girls at the university seemed to be wearing long, dark jeans. In that heat? Argh! Oh, and little strappy sandals - no can do with my orthodics. I really need to get over it and just do what I need to do to be comfortable and healthy and myself, and focus on what I'm going there for - to learn Spanish.
Oh, and maybe do a little soul-searching.
I've never really stopped and allowed myself to ask "What do you want to do/be?" Since I got out of school I've mostly focussed on earning money to pay the loans back and haven't really allowed myself to dream or explore. As work got more and more corporate I started feeling more what I DIDN'T want to do or be. Even though I see the crazy life that singer-songwriters have there is some secret part of me that STILL thinks it would be really cool to have enough skills and things to say that you could take yourself on the road and make a difference in people's lives. Fairfield can't be the ONLY town that listens... Why would these people keep touring and putting out records by their own blood, sweat and tears if they weren't getting SOMETHING out of it??
There's supposed to be a guitar class with this AMAZING guitarist starting up in April, which I'd be back for. It'd be once a week in Iowa City I think, but omg it would be so worth the drive to study with her.
At the play tonight one of the actors complimented me on my last show and said I needed to do more stuff. I told him that maybe since work was ending I'd have more time now. It's always nice to get unsolicited feedback weeks after a performance. By then they really don't have to tell you unless they were truly moved or impressed by it.
I've been listening to John Mayer's new song "Say" on repeat while writing this. It's really inspiring me like crazy - "say what you need to say" - "do it with a heart wide open". He wrote it for a movie coming out called "The Bucket List" about two older guys who start doing stuff on their lists of "Things To Do Before Kicking the Bucket". Why wait till getting as old as those guys?
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